It actually pains me to talk about love and relationships because I find myself learning something new about them everyday.
Unfortunately my lessons have not been all sunshine and rainbows. Growth and learning is painful, and that truth, I have accepted in life. This acceptance is why I am able to take the most from each situation and become better within.
So here is this:
I believe that love, true love, should not be hard… at least not to the point where you fear every move you make within the relationship…Where every step you take, every word you say, must be spoken with great cautiousness. As a partnership, you both should build each other up in the best way possible… this includes constructive criticism. Being open and honest with each other is so incredibly important to ensure that the trust between you two is strong enough to last the ages. Without trust, respect AND love there is nothing. Simply loving someone, isn’t enough.
I have 3 lessons for you today. 3 that I have learned and am still learning the hard way. There are many more to come but those are to come.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
There is a REASON that you were not quite attracted to that person in the beginning. Your soul did not connect with theirs, so trust in that feeling. If he/she tells you that in the past they cheated on every relationship, never changed for anyone, but this time is different, you’re different. Let me be the first to tell you, that you are not different. They are the one that needs to be different. They are telling you EXACTLY who they are, and you must try to believe them. Trust me, I have made every excuse in the book to defend the person I loved, but in the end… I am just trying to convince myself of an alternate reality than the one I live.
Never lower YOUR standards in order to make your partner feel better.
If your drive, thoroughly exceeds theirs, that is fine, everyone is different. But make sure that you are okay with the distance that this will cause between you. It is much better to find someone that meets your level of success and drive rather than spending your time to try and better them or “fix” them. This precious time you’re wasting on someone else, is time that you could be doing something new and amazing with your own life.
Even if you decide to continue passed this, it is a very rocky road. Feeling like you have to succeed for two people is hard, and also a very lonely one.
It causes resentment and unhappiness and even worse, the relinquishment of standards that you had set for yourself and for your life partner. This is because we let the “love” factor play too big of a role. As I said before, there are many factors to true love.
Do what you say you are going to do, and say what you mean to say.
Do not… and I mean do not go throwing around words that you do not mean. Words are the most painful weapon within a relationship. You can forgive them, but you will never forget them. There are words that to this day that my significant others have said to me that ring in my ears. When you think about what you’re going to say next, always keep in mind how that person is going to feel once they’re said. You will NEVER be able to take them back.
Take from this..
Live a little every day, don’t be afraid to make a leap of faith…but also do not be a fool.