“If it is not right, do not do it. If it is not true, do not say it.” – Marcus Aurelius
In a past writing I talked about “faking it until you become it”. I want to start this blog off reminding you that when I spoke of this idea, it was a completely different aspect of life. Acting like the person that you want to be, until you become it, is a positive thing. It will allow you to hold yourself to the same standards as the person you wish to be. It also allows you to set higher goals for yourself than maybe you would’ve for the person you consider yourself to be now.
So again, when I say “fake it until you become it”, I mean set yourself to the same standards and commit the same actions that they would.
So moving forward with lie number 5 that we always believe: “you can fake it”.
This type of “faking it” is being untrue to who you are within, what you believe, and your feelings towards others. These are core value items should always be authentic…
I know that we all have been in a situation where maybe we have compromised what we truly believe, or maybe faked our true feelings for someone just so that they would like us. Speaking for myself I know that I 100% have a problem with caring TOO much about what others think of me.
Now, I’m not saying go out into the world with a big middle finger to anyone who disagrees with you. You can, however, have empathy to others and how they feel, while simultaneously standing firm in you and your beliefs. As hard as it is, I can promise that you will be a much happier individual if you do so.
Here is why… When we are unauthentic, it makes us lack integrity which goes against our soul…this will end in us feeling badly about ourselves, even if subconsciously.
When we stay true to who we are inside, we never have to worry about our intentions nor worrying whether or not someone truly enjoys us for who we are.
So remember to always be your true self, never play pretend for anyone.
Secondly, I would like to touch on your feelings towards others… especially when it comes to love and close friendships.
Having respect and empathy for those in your inner circle is so important when it comes to expressing how you feel. Like I mentioned in the quote above…If its not right, don’t do it. If its not true, don’t say it.
If your feelings towards others are not in harmony in your partnership, whether that is a friend or someone who loves you. Do not pretend to be joyfully walking alongside them simply because you fear losing them or because their view of you might change. I can tell you this…when you are honest and up front with someone, they are more likely to trust and respect you MORE than if you falsify your feelings for them.
I’m sure many of us have been on the receiving side of this too and we can attest to the pain that is brought when finding out someone was never truly as invested as you.
And for those of us on the side where our actions don’t match our true feelings…well, think on this…
How long are you going to be able to keep this facade up?
Is this how you want to live the rest of your life?
If you truly loved this person, wouldn’t you show them who you truly are?
At this point, it isn’t about you anymore.
Have love and respect for those dear to you, even if its not exactly what they may have wanted. Being authentic will mean more to them than anyone you could ever pretend to be if they’re the right people.
No matter what way you look at it, you will not be able to fake it forever. So go out and be who you are, and have faith that the right people will love you for exactly that.