“You can do anything, not everything.” – David Allen
If I had a penny for every time I have had someone tell me this, I would probably be fairly wealthy. I have always been, as I have said before, a “yes” person or what we call a “people pleaser”.
My approach to life is that no matter what I am asked to do, I do, and will always complete it to the very best of my abilities. But, I have no balance on how much I take on or knowing when to say “no”.
You Can Do Anything
As a hardworking, driven individuals, it’s safe to say that given the opportunity, we will always pull through on anything we encounter. Whether a task given at work, growing a business we start, or taking care of our personal lives, we always prevail. We complete what needs to get done in the time it needs to get done, at the highest quality.
However, what we do not realize is that in order to make all of those things happen, we need the proper amount of time to complete them. If we do not give ourselves the time to complete the task at hand, our quality is sure to go down.
So be sure to allow enough time to do the work you already know that you are capable of.
You Cannot Do Everything
A big struggle being a people pleaser is never wanting anyone to think that we can’t or won’t do something for them. So, we try to do everything. We try to be everyone’s friend and to make everyone feel special in their own way, doing all the extra work even if we are already at full capacity.
Those of us who do these things know exactly how hard it is. Even worse, we know that it actually ends up doing the exact opposite of what we were trying to do.
Continuing to take on more at work ends up harming us worse than just telling others that you’re unable to handle another thing at that time. Our quality of work will slip as we begin missing things that we normally wouldn’t. Most of all, remember our leaders will respect us when we know what we can and cannot handle. It shows we value our work and care about the final product.
Practice Makes Perfect
I want you all to know that this is something that I still have to be very aware of in my day to day life. It is something I constantly work on. Being a people pleaser is one of the hardest habits to shake because it is an impulsive and subconscious action.
Here are some things I have implemented that have helped me change my way of thinking:
- Find your 4 “quarters” – those people that are your best friends, who are the ones that deserve to be treated the way that you try to make everyone feel. Focus on them, make them feel like the most important people in your life.
- Learn to let go – let go of trying to please the “pennies” in your life. You can still chat and be nice and have a relationship with them, but don’t feel like you have to do what you do for your 4 quarters, for them. That would just make those quarters feel like they aren’t that important to you.
- Take time for yourself – being alone is one of the most powerful tools. This time for yourself allows you to go inside and regroup with who you are. Being around so many personalities, we can lose who we are at our core, and lose sight of what we need in life.
- Say no – if you have to much work on your plate and someone asks you to do more, say no. It is completely acceptable to let people know that you cannot take on any more, especially if you know that your work will suffer. Also, if you don’t want to hangout with someone, say no, you do not have to be anywhere with anyone that you don’t want to.
Time is precious, don’t spend it concerned with anything that doesn’t serve your greater purpose. You get one life, live it how you want, with whom you want.