Have you ever noticed how we love the people who don’t love us, and adore the people who ignore us?
It’s something that I have come to realize happening in my own life rather recently. I tend please all of the people who truly do not care whether I am in their lives or not. I spend my time wondering what they are doing, if they are thinking about me and questioning whether I should reach out, again, or not, when I have so many wonderful people reaching out to me. Those of whom do care about me, and want to see my success in all means possible.
Why is this?
Why do we reach for those who are not reaching back?
I equate it to a couple of things:
Acceptance, people pleasing and the “chase”.
Acceptance in our society, of that we have developed, we tend to need by anyone and everyone within. When someone does accept us, we tend do anything necessary to have them to accept us, even changing how we think, and act. I want you to know that if someone doesn’t accept you for exactly who you are, they aren’t meant to be in your life. There are almost 7billion people in the world, there are plenty who will.
People pleasing is where I hang my struggle hat, as it is something that I have always been known to do. I truly want everyone to be happy, even if it means that I am not. This can be someone greatest strength as well as their greatest weakness. Wanting what is best for those around you is a great personality trait, to a point. We must care for others and their success, as well as ensure that we are not defying who we are as individuals.
The chase… oh how we all know about this, and typically we see this happening in relationships of the romantic nature. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, both playing the game where one is into it more than the other, and reversing roles when it gets boring, usually subconsciously. But what starts as something fun and harmless, can turn into heart ache and resentment. We seem to lose who we are when we are in a chase, we seek approval, acceptance and morph ourselves into someone we may not identify with in order to be the match for the person we are perusing. A good way to keep this from happening is when you are in the chase stage of pursuing someone, be authentically you. I know we have talked about this idea of authenticity many times, but it still reigns true in so many situations. If whom you are pursuing doesn’t accept you for that of who you are, than be at peace with the fact that there is someone out there who will.
So people? Please…
Please stay true to who you are, authentically you. That is the most incredible version of you there is.
That is how God made you.